I’m Back

So I took a hiatus from blogging, from Facebook, from my friends all except one, and I’ve just kept my family around. Most of it had to do with the (lack of) readiness in coming into my own skin and being able to translate my thoughts into living things and feeling secure enough to become my ambitions. It is a process- a long one that might take a decade to ferment. But the point is to keep going and live honestly with myself.

After I got into University and performed my first slam poem (Dear Radical White Hipsters) I felt instant relief and took a break from action. Two of my tiny dreams actually came true, and this achievement, no matter how minor, is an alien concept in my life. I’ve been learning how to deal with the relativity of “success” and how that word carries different meanings for everyone.

I have a huge checklist of things to do this summer. Some will happen while others may not. Quitting smoking and becoming physically and mentally healthier are among my top priorities. I’ve cut my one-pack-a-day intake to ten which is huge for me. I’ve been meditating more frequently and appreciating the great things in my life- my mother, sister, brother, dog, cat, cousins and great musicians that inspire me every day.

Being Armenian is a constant thread in all this. It is an inescapable identity that I must define since no one else has or is willing to do so. But it is peace, now. I mean, it’s getting there. Somedays I get sick of it. I forget how I used to hate it, even as a young child and even as a young adult, even one year ago. The way I view my body/identity/ethnicity today may conflict with the way others, including white folks, people of color, and armenians, see us. I’m figuring this out, and before I die I might have an answer or might make some changes and I might not. I just have to keep going.

“Damn right I love the life I live, cause I went from negative to positive.” — Notorious B.I.G.


What is Happenning in Istanbul?

“They came from all around Istanbul. They came from all different backgrounds, different ideologies, different religions. They all gathered to prevent the demolition of something bigger than the park… These people are my friends. They are my students, my relatives. They have no «hidden agenda» as the state likes to say. Their agenda is out there. It is very clear. The whole country is being sold to corporations by the government, for the construction of malls, luxury condominiums, freeways, dams and nuclear plants. The government is looking for (and creating when necessary) any excuse to attack Syria against its people’s will…No newspaper or TV channel was there to report the events. They were busy with broadcasting news about Miss Turkey and “the strangest cat of the world”. I am writing this letter so that you know what is going on in Istanbul. Mass media will not tell you any of this. Not in my country at least. Please post as many as articles as you see on the Internet and spread the word…By so called «complaining» about my country I am hoping to gain:

Freedom of expression and speech,

Respect for human rights,

Control over the decisions I make concerning my on my body,

The right to legally congregate in any part of the city without being considered a terrorist.”

İnsanlık Hali

To my friends who live outside of Turkey:

I am writing to let you know what is going on in Istanbul for the last five days. I personally have to write this because at the time of my writing most of the media sources are shut down by the government and the word of mouth and the internet are the only ways left for us to explain ourselves and call for help and support.

Last week of May 2013 a group of people most of whom did not belong to any specific organization or ideology got together in Istanbul’s Gezi Park. Among them there were many of my friends and yoga students. Their reason was simple: To prevent and protest the upcoming demolishing of the park for the sake of building yet another shopping mall at very center of the city. There are numerous shopping malls in Istanbul, at least…

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