Alright, I need to confess something. You can say that I am outspoken when it comes to politics and human (and nonhuman) rights. I stick to my beliefs, and try my best to create a world I want to see. Equality and giving my freedom to those who don’t have access to it has been my mantra since I could remember.
Only I have denied myself of this freedom. I have buried myself in stress and high expectations that in reality can not be carried out. I have compared myself to people I admire to the point where those idols have become my downfalls. I’ve created more differences than similarities and I’ve trapped my own, minute identity.
And I’ve created a cave inside myself, physically, emotionally and mentally, in hopes of making my dreams a reality. But demons always come back saying the same thing; I can’t do it. But I can, and I have. So my plan is to start a new, simple regimen and actually carry it through. I guess it is cliche, or even some crap worthy of Oprah’s book club. But here we go.
I’ve been learning more on women playing soccer in Armenia, and it inspired me to become more physical, whether it is hiking, playing soccer for fun, or just getting my butt out of my snow globe pajamas. Maybe it can help me quit smoking and being mopey.
Also, food. I’m probably one of the worst vegans I’ve met because I don’t like vegetables, and I’m very broke. So I will start cooking most of my food and cookin’ it healthy.
Something tells me to stop here, because I know that I’m probably kidding myself. Let’s keep going.
Sleep earlier, and wake up earlier; artists don’t really seem to understand this. The early bird gets the worm though, right?
Strengthen relationships with people around you- family, family, and some friends. That’s all I can ask for! Maybe I’ll go visit my uncle Hovsep this week and eat good Armenian food.
Appreciating the little things, and not asking for more.
Learning how to smile more often.
Painting- finish a painting every week or other week.
Music and poetry- this one is confusing. I need a teacher and inspiration and focus. Prerequisites?
And of course, studying, trying to get into school, and finding a job.
Aha, life, you thought you could beat me down this time. You failed. This is where true revolution begins.